BREATHING UNDER WATER

  PHOTO:  After my final dive of Scuba Diving Certification Training. I made it!

PHOTO: After my final dive of Scuba Diving Certification Training. I made it!

My Dad started my brother Ben and I off snorkeling at early ages Bahamas where we used to travel every 2 years. I remember him taking a deep breath, holding my turning on my stomach and lifting up my feet so I could dive down deep into the water.  We used to look for beautiful fish and pick up conch shells my Dad would use to make conch salad for him and Mom.  

I wished I didn't have to come up for air and could stay under the water longer.  When I found out about scuba, I promised myself that someday I would learn how to do it just so I could have more time in the underwater world.

Almost 30 years later I was invited to my dear friend Anna and Rob's wedding in Costa Rica and I decided to get my certification there so I signed up for a 3 day course.

On the anniversary of my father's birth I was in the ocean scuba diving.  I felt exhilarated inside a school of fish that wouldn't seem to stop circling me.  I also felt emotions of fear, panic, anxiety, and self- doubt during my underwater training.  I felt ashamed that my fear of drowning and of water was still present.  I wondered how I could love the water so much and still be afraid of it.  I decided that I would stop trying to conquer or eradicate fear and let it be present.  I coupled my fear with the love I have for water knowing that it was okay if they were both present.  I set my sights on courageously being with fear, respecting the ocean and allowing myself to enjoy a deeper part of myself.  

 

SPECIAL THANKS TO 

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My beloved father for taking me to dive and snorkel at an early age and learning to love the underwater world.  It was such a gift to learn to scuba dive on your birthday.

Special thank you to my instructors at Oceans Unlimited in Costa Rica who helped me breath through my panic and achieve a life long goal of scuba diving.

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My dear friend Kosta Stavreas for reminding me that fear has no power when courage and love are present.